Top 10 Goal Setting Tips
Tip 2 - Decide WHAT you want!

The second of my goal setting tips, "Decide WHAT you want" may sound like common sense, but as one of my coaches used to say, "common sense isn't necessarily common practice!" It's easy to day dream about having a better life, being healthier, being fitter, but that's all rather generalized wishful thinking. If what you have now, or who you are isn't to your liking, then decide what you want instead?

Focus on what you DO want, NOT what you don't

Many people work themselves into a hopeless downward spiral by focusing on the things they are unhappy about:

"I'm too fat!"
"I feel so unhealthy!"
"I've got no self-discipline!"
"I hate going to the gym!"
"My husband nags me because I smoke too much"

Crikey - what a great way to demotivate yourself! And that's exactly what happens if you tell yourself these sorts of things. Yes, if a problem exists you need to acknowledge it and start taking responsibility for changing things, but reinforcing past negative behaviors like this is not going to help.

Unfortunately, this is what many people do. They continually berate themselves which only serves to create and reinforce subconscious limiting beliefs.

You're reading this website because you have decided to do something POSITIVE about your situation, so start by deciding and focusing on what you DO want:

"I want to be a healthy weight"
"I want to go for a walk a feel invigorated"
"I want to find a healthy routine that I can stick to"
"I want to learn to dance"
"I want to stop smoking permanently"

Get the picture? See, these goal setting tips are pretty simple - you just need to follow them! "Yes" I hear you cry, "but it's not that easy!" I know it may seem that way right now, but that's just because you're adjusting to a new way of thinking. If you could change immediately you wouldn't need to continue reading this, don't you?

Exercise: The "I Want" List

Sounds crazy, but sometimes people actually have a little difficulty articulating what they DO want. When clients come to me, I always start by asking them what goal or outcome they are looking to achieve. Frequently they come back with an answer which focuses on the problem:

"I don't want to pass my unhealthy habits on to my kids" (incidentally I come across this quite a lot)

I simply ask, "so what DO you want?" Sometimes they come back with more negatives and I say, "OK, you've told me what you don't want, now tell me what you DO want". At this point they usually stop, realize what's going on in terms of the language they are using and start to rephrase things more positively. If they're really not getting it, I say "OK, STOP telling me what you don't want and START telling me what you want INSTEAD!" This usually works!

So, the exercise is to find a friend who is willing to work through this process with you until you start to form the habit of only focusing on and stating what you DO want in the positive.

Your objective is to make a list of things that you want in relation to your health and/or fitness goal. Have your friend continually ask "What do you want?" "What do you want?" for 10 to 15 minutes, and jot down your answers. They should listen out to make sure your answers are always positive and use the questions I mentioned above if necessary to keep you on track.

The first few answers you give may not be that profound, "I want to lose 20 1lbs", "I want to be a size 10". However by the end of the exercise the answers will be coming from deeper inside you and reflect your core values..."I want to be loved", "I want to be successful". These are the more powerful motivators for you that link to our first of the Goal Setting Tips - 'Have a Compelling WHY?'

Good luck and have fun with it!

I hope you've enjoyed exploring the 2nd of my goal setting tips. To look at the others, please click on the links below:

Goal Setting Tips (1) - Have a compelling "WHY?"
Goal Setting Tips (3) - Stretch yourself
Tip (4) - Be specific
Tip (5) - Believe it's possible
Tip (6) - Embed your goals
Tip (7) - Chunk it down
Tip (8) - Take action
Tip (9) - Prepare for obstacles
Tip (10)- Be flexible

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